I am dieting. I eat quince jelly. Lots of ground maize gives variety. I cook rhubarb and soda, weep anew, or put on extra flesh. (Phoebe Winch - Sherborne)

I incline to tax my brain on the crossword but I never view the Diary like a quiz, just a good, famous page of glee and pleasure. (Ian Raven - Woodthorpe, Notts)

Expect inane jokes if you’d all be PHS readers. I’ve not gazed at it for quite a while now, but your anagram is driving me loco. (Peter Scott - Blackheath, UK)

Amazing example of weird editorial obfuscation quoted in PHS Diary. Brash journalist given week to leave country. Gee! (James Allan - Tunbridge Wells)

Ye journalists are a lone, batty breed who give out exceptional prizes for individual techniques of making a word game. (John Fleischman - Pimlico)

As a mean guy - a scrabbler for pence - I’ve just home-tailored a text. Is there any kind of prize going? I would love to win a quid. (David Williams - Horsham)

Quite extraordinary no prize of a cool fiver could be given us. Am low-paid - would just make doing thee beastly thing easier. (Peter Farquhar - Earl’s Court)

I boxed a glad man of Peru
(A quietic Greek Jew on a gnu),
O, 'twas over in three
As I seized victory
O that silly blind man of Peru (Mike Shepherd - Kilburn)

Our Scrabblers do ooze a charm, an equipoise, a fortitude, wit and love, viewing the next life as grim, daunting, jokey. (Gyles Brandreth, National Scrabble Championship organizer)

The zebras are bounding too anxiously alongside miles of quick-flowing river water just to evade painted pea machinery. (3/17/75 - Mrs. JD Ramsbottom)

The zebras are bounding too anxiously alongside miles of quick-flowing river water just to evade chimpanzee, dirty ape. (Eric Chaikin's edit, 2020)

In Bastia, over five crazy hijackers quit the aeroplane two minutes before it exploded, wounding a good many guerillas. (David & Helen Kimble - Southampton)

However do pavid bodies find time to enjoy an exercise, using all tiles, making up queer words for a tale about a crazy thing? (V. Wasley - Coffs Harbour)

Soviet occupying army will quit divided Afghanistan, export woe again, as mujahedeen rebels forge on to terrorize Kabul.

Queasy radioman wept: got to eye ferocious blaze of vivid aerial explosion, cremating wilted Hindenburg at Lakehurst, NJ.

Countrymen, I am to bury, not eulogize, Caesar; if evil lives on, bequeathing injury, good oft expires: a palsied awkward death!

Jack-get-up-at-noon
Delivery-vans
Experimentalizes
Honorificabilitudinity
Queen-of-the-meadows
Upsurge
Warragals

Dioxydiamidoarsenobenzol
Equipping
Ethylenediaminetetraacetate
Favour
Jugoslavic
Refurbish
Westward-looking

I was the just queen of an empire. I gazed on Britain. I have ruled so long. So I expected loyalty back. I favoured not grim war.

“Is the diamond brooch jewelry of great value?” I ask, admiring its deep opulence again. “I love it.”
“But of quartz,” he answers, “onyx.” (Derek Ho - Oakland, CA)

Boulevard Diner, Eleven Forty… It’s too quiet. I down a hot cup of java. As a gun barrel whacks my noggin, I realize: Dixie set me up. (Andrew Chaikin - San Francisco, CA)

Help!
Minnow wrecked in a tiny azure lagoon.
Prof. can't fix.
Site is a quiet sea desert.
Mohave? Baja?
Ginger O.K.
Over/Out
Li'l buddy.
(Philip Freeman - Canton, MI)

Quote of overtaxed, idolized Tsibliyev, regarding unusual damage: "Now I know if objects in Mir are closer than they appear!" (David W. Hundley - Allen, TX)

A typical vacation for a zombie I know is quietly digging up a dead body at Halloween. Irreverent, or just a sense of exhumer? (Richard Barton - Newmarket, NH)

Dear John,
I quit. I've ironed your golf pants and waxed your black car for the last time... bozo!
I'm leaving you.
Sweetie pie
Agnes
(Connie Bruner - Weatherford, TX)

A Beatle quipped, "McGuinn, if I heave you from a vertex onto Jagger 'n' Richards, I'd kill two Stones with one Byrd. A zealous idea!" (Joe Dudman - Portland, OR)

A dummy said, "We have a daring new job together in a zoo. It could be exciting!"
And a ventriloquist replied, "Speak for yourself!" (Robin Gross - Philadelphia, PA)

A rough and quiet boxer named Mike realizes one way to avoid losing out is biting Evander's ear off. Just call it pay per chew. (Stuart Bernstein - Raleigh, NC)

Quickie guide to cat behavior
Yawning: feels lazy
Purring: "join me!"
Tail up: boredom
Ears flat: vexation
Heeds owner: it's a dog.
(Lisa Mallette - Ft. White, FL)

No one found this an easy job.
A wise few have quiet lamenting
Or risk being carried out a vile mad adult.
No prize except glory. (Chris Day - Tauranga, NZ)

This exercise challenged me, too. Vowels are queuing up, and I am paralyzed by a robot in a wafer-thin diver's outfit. No joking! (Anderina McLean - Mt. Albert, NZ)

I love junk food dining. Fries, a burger, pretzels, pies awash in gravy, a deluxe choc or two... you name it. I do lean meat quite a bit. (Olivia Godfrey - Wellington, NZ)

The average fool arrives here blind
An ego waking up to find
A quiet, conscious, empty mind
Now today I realize
Relax
Just be

The Princess Bride, as a Scrabblegram:
A unique film with a farm boy, a giant,
a Zorro-like sword expert, true love,
hope, justice, and a good ending?
Yes, it's conceivable.

Breaking Bad:
See a chemist and a delinquent junkie unforgivably prioritize wealth, ego, power, and sale of exotic drugs above morality.

The Ten Commandments:
1. I am God, obey me
2. Never idolize
3. Quit cursing
4. Sunday we just relax
5. Honor a parent
Don't...
6. Take a life
7. Shag
8. Rob
9. Lie
10. Covet (a pig, wife...)

"I Have A Dream" speech:
I have a dream
A world based not on color, but equality
Invoking a mix of hope, justice
Rising up, energized, we say
"Free at last!"

Willy Wonka:
A poor boy, a golden ticket.
Four rivals want a major prize.
The guests are excused one by one,
disqualified, leaving him to win.

Hamlet's "To be or not to be" Soliloquy:
To be or not?
Valid question.
Life drags on, an agonizing dream,
Rarely a joy — but suicide?
What comes next if I never wake up?
Help!

Whitman's When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer:
Heard an old expert reviewing some facts. I became bored. I left. Walking outdoors, I gaze up at heaven in joyous tranquility.

The Wizard of Oz:
Kansas girl with a dog
aided by brave companions
journeyed up to Oz
in time recalling the exquisite value
of red footwear

Star Wars:
A pilot nobody knows is using the Force to
- become a Jedi
- fight Vader
- save our galaxy
- win a prize medal
- return in a hit sequel

Ode to the Mona Lisa:
You, a revered work of wonder,
an object of unrivaled popularity,
exhibit a god's enigmatic gaze,
a quintessential shy smile.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
To avoid school, a guy will organize unlimited pranks,
a wild joyride sequence but...
...BOOM...
at the expense of a vintage Ferrari.

Game of Thrones:
Families of every kingdom (and a big dragon) square up, jockey to seize the valuable Iron Throne.

Wait... up next is a cold winter.

Walt Whitman's When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer:

Heard an old expert reviewing some facts. I became bored. I left.

Walking outdoors, I gaze up at heaven in joyous tranquility.

Mystery Science Theater 3000:
A gang of joking robot pals, some equally weird dude, view a crazy bad movie. Hilarious experience in the not distant future.

The Godfather:
A mafia son wants to avoid family job exposures.
Duty (or revenge) will require he change
to be a reluctant idolized kingpin.

Back to the Future:
A boy, a Doc fix up a broken Delorean, use an enormous lightning-sized quantity of jigawatt power. Real time travel is achieved.

Haiku (both sections are themselves haikus):

Haiku

Utilizing fixed
syllable count and order,
seven between fives

Homage to antique
poetry across Japan,
"word origami"

Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild:
Come explore a gigantic world!
Make a bid to free four Divine Beasts!
Vanquish Ganon!
Reunite with Zelda!
Sure is a joy to play.

Scrabble:
A few objectives:
- interlock words on a grid
- maximize points
- edge out ahead (hopefully)
- acquire an interesting vocabulary

A Rosh Hashana commemoration:
L'Shana Tova!
Jews finding Zoom services
to celebrate New Year
are blowing digital audio shofar.
Due next: quiet Yom Kippur.
(Eric Chaikin)

Our respects, in 100 tiles:
RIP Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
A model of extensive
zeal, integrity,
womanhood, and IQ.
Awoke, alive,
You court a final sleep.
(Eric Chaikin)

Willy Wonka:
Quirky magnate extends invite to a weird factory where Charlie, Augustus, & Violet find bronze Oompa Loompas being jailed.
(Eric Chaikin)